


Monogamy, Mate-Guarding and Teenaged Terrans

by coffee_mage



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Except when he doesn't, Gen, Humour, Monogamy, Puberty, The Talk is universal but the subject matter is not, Yondu hates being a dad, Yondu is the okayest dad in the universe, Yondu's A+ Parenting, mate guarding, sex ed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-09 00:42:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11093337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee_mage/pseuds/coffee_mage
Summary: Sex ed in space isn't as simple as 'here's how to keep tab a and slot b from infecting each other with something horrifying'.  That part's just part of day to day Ravager conversation.  No, the sex talk is a much bigger deal than that.Failed sex ed can lead to decapitation, after all.





	Monogamy, Mate-Guarding and Teenaged Terrans

Yondu watched somewhat appreciatively as Kraglin yawned, adjusted his pants, scratched his balls, put his bowl down on the table and sank into his customary seat.  Being so tired he could barely keep his eyes open always made Yondu see a sort of haze around Kraglin that made the ball scratching and general filth a little prettier, like one of Yondu's baubles or trinkets.  He wasn't going to tell him that, of course, but it was good to watch all the same.  Mechanically, Yondu scraped whatever tasteless crap was in his bowl into his mouth and blinked blearily.

Kraglin seemed a little on edge, not tucking himself around his food as he usually did.  He'd grown up half starved under the overstreets of Hrax and it had taken months after he'd joined Yondu's crew before he'd been willing to even sit at a table with another person.  He'd never shaken the habit of curling himself in around his bowl or plate and shovelling food into his mouth as quickly as he could.  Even when exhausted, his food disappeared like fuel through a thruster engine, so Yondu took notice when he started dragging his spoon through the bowl idly.

"You sick?" Yondu demanded, leaning away slightly.  Last time Kraglin'd been sick, Yondu had learnt that xenonotic diseases that could affect Hraxians and Centaurians would generally affect the Hraxians somewhat mildly and just about tear the innards out of a Centaurian.  He'd been careful to keep his distance if Kraglin so much as sneezed since then.

"Nah, but we gotta talk about something," Kraglin said.  "And you ain't gonna like it."

Yondu's eyes narrowed.  "You know the reason we use the sexbots is so we don't leave spawn behind.  We ain't taking on anymore damn kids."

"What?  No, I didn't go knocking up some prostitute.  I'm not stupid!"

Yondu leaned in, eyes searching Kraglin's face, nerves twinging somewhere in his stomach.  "If you tell me Hraxians is one of them subsets of Xandarians where the men get knocked up, too, so help me I'll--"

"What the hell's got kids on your mind so hard?  You do something stupid?" Kraglin hissed.  

Yondu pressed his lips together, licked them, then started to purse them in place of a proper response.

Kraglin raised his hands in surrender.  "Sorry, sir.  It's just we got a problem with Quill."

Yondu closed his eyes, sat back in his chair and took a deep breath.  Any conversation that started with 'Quill' and 'problem' was probably something he'd rather throw out of an airlock than actually participate in.  "When do we not?" he groaned.  "The hell's it this time?"

Kraglin snorted, dropping his hands to play with his food some more.  "Well, sir... We don't know much about Terrans and all, but I'm startin' to think maybe they're one of those monogamous species."

"Ah, hell."  Yondu set down his spoon and pressed a hand tiredly against his eyelids.  There weren't enough hours in the day for this shit.  "You sure?"

Kraglin shrugged.  "Not entirely...  I'm pretty sure he fucked Hintz.  Heard him telling--"

"Wait, Hintz fucked him?  What kind of sick shit is that?  He's a kid for fuck's sake."  Yondu pushed his bowl away, disgust churning in his stomach.

"Hintz isn't even three full standard calendars older," Kraglin pointed out, finally meeting Yondu's eyes.

Yondu squinted, considering that, then shook his head.  "That can't be right.  Learned my lesson after Quill.  We don't take on kids anymore."  He should have realized it was an issue _before_ he'd decided to renege on a deal with a kid-murdering scumbag, or maybe he should have just dropped the kid in some slummy city to fend for himself.

"Uh huh," Kraglin drawled.  "And how long you think Quill's been here, anyway?"

There was a question.  Yondu didn't really take much note of the calendar, never had.  His people followed seasons.  There were no seasons in space so time didn't matter outside of how long it took to get from point a to point b.  He wasn't actually sure how old he was, only ever found out when he had reason to get himself arrested for a job.  "Three calendars?" he guessed, knowing it was a stab in the dark just as well as he knew Kraglin would clue him in.

"Little over six, Captain."  

That was a little far off, even for Yondu, but he shrugged, passing it off like he didn't care.  "Doesn't mean the kid's old enough to be getting it on.  Terrans is slow maturing ain't they?"  He wasn't sure.  He tried to keep his distance from Quill when he could, which was never near often enough.  Kept the whispers down to a dull roar rather than a mutiny-laden firestorm.

Kraglin shrugged.  "Seem to be about standard, far as I can tell.  He's probably not old enough to get anything out of a bar in Nova-controlled space but he ain't had trouble getting a drink elsewhere for a quarter or so.  Old enough to fuck without it being the kinda thing we gotta worry about, mostly."

Yondu considered it.  He'd seen Quill getting drunk a couple times but he'd assumed the boys were buying the drinks.  Seemed the kid might have got a little older than what he thought.  "Fine.  And you're thinking he's monogamous why?"

"Heard him telling Matri he was in love.  You know what that means."

Yondu closed his eyes and groaned.  Yeah, he knew all right.  Last time they'd taken on a monogamous species without realizing, Yondu'd ended up needing to replace two of his best engineers after they'd lost their heads.  Literally.  Turned out there were some quadrants where murdering someone that looked at your mate sidelong wasn't just legal, but culturally expected.  "Confusing lust and love, yep, I know that one."  

"I can take care of it, if you want," Kraglin said, lifting a dripping spoonful of slop up to his mouth.

Yondu nodded, relieved.  That wasn't something he wanted to make room for on his schedule.  Kraglin would get it out of the way real quick-like and then they could maybe get a little time to themselves at mid-shift.  Maybe more than a little time if he could manage to read through the offer list fast enough.  Could take an extra hour at the end of his shift to finish off any that he didn't get done.  Give himself a little more time to spend spreading Kraglin out.  Maybe even enough time to get all the layers off him for once.  Seemed like they never had that kind of time.  

He spooned his breakfast into his mouth slowly, trying to decide what surface in the ship he should defile with Kraglin's dick prints.  There were so many options and the possibility of scarring some of the more junior crew members with the sight was more appealing than he cared to admit.  There was precious little better than watching some of the fresh meat try to deal with their confused little arousal fantasies after they'd seen their captain bending their first mate over a console somewhere.  Gave him sweet reminders of some good times to carry him through when they were busy enough there wasn't any time.  

He nodded in answer to whatever Kraglin had just asked him.  Kraglin knew what needed doing around the ship, probably better than he did.  Yondu didn't have much patience for personnel shit.  He'd much rather watch people dance out of range of his arrow than try to figure out how to put the duty roster together with species whose day cycles didn't even come close to matching.

"Sir?" Kraglin said, leaning closer.  "You might want to start listening with your headspace brain.  If I'm gonna do it, I need a little input here."

Yondu grunted and pulled his attention back on the topic at hand.  Kraglin probably didn't have the first idea how to start the stupid conversation with Quill.  "Yeah, okay.  What?"

"I was wondering if you wanted it to be a reward for a few you're feeling charitable towards or if you wanted to let the whole crew take a moment at the portholes?  Some merit to either one, the boys've been chomping at the bit for this long enough."

"The portholes?" Yondu echoed questioningly.  He'd been daydreaming too long.  He'd obviously missed an important subject switch.  "What are we talking about those for?"

Kraglin sighed, put upon.  "When I toss him out.  The boys been wanting to see what a Terran looks like in the aether since you brought him aboard.  You can get some of them rewarded for good behaviour or you can let them all see me put an end to it.  It's up to you."

Yondu stared, processing that.  "Think I heard that wrong," he settled on finally, keeping his tone cheerfully level.

"Sir?"  Kraglin frowned, uncertainly.

He set down his spoon and smiled, baring his teeth.  "Coulda sworn I just heard you say you were gonna murder Quill."

"Well yeah.  We can't just let him go and murder real crew cause his species gets possessive."

Well, there went Yondu's plans for the day.  All the desire'd fled him and he mostly just wanted to smack Kraglin in the head until his brain rattled.  "I don't want you to kill him, you idiot.  I want you to sit him down and tell him some manners about sex."

Kraglin stared at him.  "You want me to sit down with some damn primitive and--"

"You watch your words," Yondu snarled.  Very few things pissed him off like that word. 

Kraglin winced and Yondu could see the exact second he realized what he'd said.  Kraglin rarely spoke without thinking but when he did, it was to always to take his foot and shove it down his mouth until he could hop up and down on it.  "I didn't mean _you,_ " he said frantically.  "I meant Quill!"

"Don't you go throwing around stupid crap like that.  We kept the little shit alive this long, we're not killing him without giving him a chance.  Not like he got the strength to win a fight against any of the boys.  He ain't big enough yet.  He's all... weedy.  Kinda like you."  

"Nothing like me," Kraglin protested.  "I can win if I gotta.  Don't need the captain watching my back to survive."

"Good.  You can sleep in the common areas rest of the week then, if you don't need me."

It wasn't that Yondu was actually a sadist.  It was just that he derived a certain amount of satisfaction from others' misfortune.  He knew how a few of the others liked to treat Kraglin when he wasn't looking, knew it wouldn't go far enough to be dangerous to Kraglin's health and he thought it was hilarious.  

Kraglin wasn't that great an actor and Yondu was pretty sure he wasn't actually getting satisfaction from kicking Kraglin out of his bed, but he couldn't quite place why.  He just knew that Kraglin was faking dismay at being tossed out.  "You got some kinda clap I should know about?" he demanded.

"No, Captain," Kraglin responded, not quite as fazed as Yondu would have liked.  

"Good.  Can't trust you with edificating Quill on this, you best sort the morning contracts so I can deal with this myself.  You better find at least two promising leads or I'll make it two weeks, you hear?"

Kraglin glanced up from folding himself around his bowl, abruptly going back to normal.  Yondu was pretty sure he'd been played somehow but wasn't quite sure where.  "Yes, sir.  You got a lower end for credits?"

Yondu shrugged.  "Need at least a hundred thou to get us through the next quarter without dipping into the backups, I reckon."

"Yeah.  A hundred and fifty'd be better.  Pay off that mess with the Shi'ar two quarters ago."

That had been a right mess, enough that Yondu still cringed thinking about it.  Seven M-ships lost, forty-five men and he still got phantom pains in his right leg if he slept wrong.  "If you think you can coordinate that much, you show me the schedule.  I think we don't got enough boys to run it."

"If you're not gonna do away with Quill, if I remember right there's one we can pass him off as Xandarian for if we get him and me to a planetside barber and get me a set of those pop-in veneers."

"You think he can pull that off?"

Kraglin shrugged, shovelling food into his mouth like someone was gonna steal it right out from under his nose.  "Think it's time he started pulling his weight and if he keeps up the way he's doing, he ain't gonna be small enough for that kinda work much longer."  Bits of food flecked the table as he talked around his mouthfuls.  Yondu bet he tasted a fair sight better than he did most of the time and thought about reinstating their lunch break for a split second before remembering that Kraglin was going to be high and dry until he remembered he'd tried to throw away one of Yondu's favourite toys.

"Yeah, guess so."  Yondu choked down a little more of his breakfast--it was getting cold and the colder it got the more it wanted to cling to his throat and choke him like some kind of fast cooling ore.

"Think we can get enough without too much trouble.  Might mean splitting off a few on solos but we got the senior staff for it.  Gotta do some recruiting once we've got the funds though."

Yondu nodded, pushing his breakfast away.  "Need more maintenance personnel, don't we?"

"Yeah, for the shorter day cycles especially but could use some for the standard, too.  Need to find us a new medic."

There'd been an excellent doctor a couple months back, but he'd got a better offer from a rival faction and it was getting harder and harder for Yondu to hire a legitimate physician who had any actual qualifications.  And with a mixed crew like he had, he really needed a decent doctor.  Damn Stakar.  "Yeah.  Bet we can find someone on Knowhere."

"If we want someone usually too drunk to stitch a wound, sure.  I'm thinking the edges of Kree space, sir."

Yondu blew out a long breath, then nodded.  "Take a look at the offers, sure, but don't forget, I gotta approve them."  He pushed himself back from the table and stood, shoving the remains of his bowl at Kraglin.  "Gonna track down the boy and deal with his shit.  Expect the short list on my datapad within two hours, clear?"

Kraglin was so pleased at the extra rations, he didn't even look up all the way, just nodded.  "Sure, Captain."  Yondu wasn't even sure where Kraglin put all the food he took in, wasn't sure what a Hraxian's basal metabolic rate was or any of that shit, but he was pretty sure he needed to hit the magic button that'd up Kraglin's rations.  Kraglin's clothes were fitting a little looser and his cheeks were a little more hollow than usual and Yondu hated it when Kraglin's hip bones bruised his ass.

***

Quill had put on about three inches since Yondu had bothered to actually look at him for more than just thwapping the side of his head with the flat of his palm in the mess.  He had his list of chores and Yondu made sure they got done.  Any signs of slacking and he locked the kid in a closet for a couple of days or threw him onto a planet to fight his way out of something in the name of training.

"Aw, come on," the kid whined when Yondu dragged him away from his maintenance shift.  "You told me I had to get in at least a hundred day cycles on M-ships before I could start flying them and I'm at ninety seven."

That genuinely didn't sound right.  He'd told the kid that he'd teach him how to fly when he hit a hundred shifts.  It couldn't be anywhere near time for him to spend that much time with the kid again.  The crew'd start talking, like they always did.  Trouble was, Yondu didn't trust any of his men to actually teach Quill to be useful doing anything rather than teaching him the fastest way to get caught and end up in a Nova-run prison.

"No you're not."

"You can look it up on the duty roster.  I worked 97 shifts," Quill said as Yondu steered him with fingers digging into his shoulder.  

"No way you did.  I know it hasn't been a quarter yet cause I told you that right before I went to set up that job at that stupid harvest festival and it ain't time for me to go collect on that yet.  I know I been gone a lot, boy, but I don't appreciate you trying to pull a fast one over on me just cause you been lonely."  He gave Quill's shoulder a little shake.

"I'm not lonely!" Quill protested.  "I don't get lonely."

"That's a load of shit if I ever heard it."  Yondu shoved Quill into one of the lifts and leaned against the wall as it took them up to the deck his quarters were on.  "You follow me around like a lost pet every time you got the chance."

"Yeah, cause you're my best chance at not getting eaten.  Shimbr tried to cut a steak off me last week!"  Quill looked sullen, his eyebrows drawn in and his arms crossed miserably.  Yondu eyed him up, deciding he hadn't grown that much but he'd gotten new boots.  He was growing fast, though, sprouting up like some kind of plant that lifted up from the forest floor virtually overnight.  

"Did he succeed?"

"No, I knifed him in the leg.  I was aiming for his dick but I guess his species keeps them inside or something cause it shoulda hit if it'd been hanging down."

"Good boy."  Yondu ruffled his hair approvingly.  "Best way to make them quit is to make them."

"Yeah, that's what you keep saying but it don't stop them from trying to eat me.  They don't try when you're shipside."  Quill peered up at him through his eyebrows, clearly hoping for something.

Yondu snorted, amused and irritated.  "That's cause I make them quit.  You're gonna get there sooner or later.  Just might take you a little more time and growing a bit.  You're not full size quite yet, I don't think, so there's hope for you."

"It'd be better if you were shipside more," Quill muttered and there it was, the thing that the kid was hoping for.  

"Been some big jobs lately to cover the repairs after that Shi'ar thing.  We needed all hands piloting small jobs to make up the difference.  It ain't like I like leaving the Eclector in other people's hands, you know that.  They fuck everything up and leave the old girl smelling funny."  They tended to just generally make a mess of everything and Yondu was a little bit possessive when it came to his ship.  He'd saved up for years to afford her, piecing her together around his own M-Ship, recruiting his own crew.  He'd built the whole thing from the ground up and he hated having to be away so much, even if it did have the added benefit of making everyone think he'd lost any sentiment for the kid.  It made Peter less of a target, to the point he was a little surprised they'd bothered threatening to eat him with the need for so many people on the maintenance rota.  

Peter shrugged.  "Guess so.  Still better when you're here."

"Course it is.  I'm the biggest badass you're ever gonna meet and I'm the thing that keeps this ship moving.  Now, you been hacking the ship computers, boy?"

"What?  No!"  Peter protested.  "Why would you think that?"

"Cause I'm positive you ain't had a hundred day-cycles to work in yet."

"I haven't.  I'm at 97."

Yondu raised an eyebrow and pointedly started tapping at his wrist link as he shoved Quill out of the lift with one elbow.  He looked over the rota and sure enough, Quill had been working 97 maintenance shifts in a row, all of them on the M-ships.  He'd logged repairs on enough ships that Yondu was starting to question if he'd been away from the ship more often than he'd thought when something caught his eye and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from beaming with pride.  "Says here you're a short-shifter?" he asked, after a moment.

"Yeah, Terran adults got a 15 hour day-cycle.  My teachers said it was an evolutionary thing, helped make sure someone was always awake to protect the tribe."  Quill kept his eyes very carefully forward and Yondu shoved him in the shoulder enough to make him stumble.

"Liar," Yondu said, not even bothering to try and make himself sound irritated.  Kid was spinning a good tale.  "Terrans got a 24 hour day-cycle no matter what age.  I had to look that up when we stole you."

"Only the kids!  It's only--"

"A giant load of shit.  You got a 24 hour day cycle."  Yondu pushed a few buttons on his wrist link to fix Peter's schedule and elbowed him again to steer him into his quarters.  "You managed to reduce your time by what, thirty-eight percent?"  Yondu considered the numbers a moment, then nodded as he closed the door and set a biolock.  "Roughly, anyway.  Only had to do about sixty percent of your time.  That's clever and you managed to convince Kraglin.  Your skills are improving.  Good job."

"I didn't lie!"

Yondu laughed.  The kid was really trying to sell it but he had been forced to find out a Terran day-cycle was when the kid had been little.  Yondu had known enough pouchlings and younglings in his time to know that the only thing worse than a kid was a kid who hadn't got enough sleep and that was one thing Yondu didn't want to add to all the crying and blatting they were already dealing with.  "You lied."

"I didn't!  You can't take away my shifts!  I worked 97, fair and square!"

"You're a lying little shit, but I ain't gonna take away any of your shifts for displaying a little ingenuity for a change.  I like initiative.  I'll take you up and run you through the first flight procedures tomorrow."

"That's not fa--" Quill cut himself off and his jaw stayed open, eyes wide and gormless as he visibly replayed Yondu's words a few times.  "Really?"

"Yeah, really.  It's part of the code.  We don't back out of a contract.  That there's a contract, boy."

Quill lit up, his eyes dancing.  "Oh my god.  Thank you!"  He made a weird motion and Yondu took a step back, worried the kid might try to hug him. 

"Yeah, yeah.  Think of it as an incentive to make it through the conversation we're about to have."  There, that had brought back the wariness and put paid to any ideas of hugging Quill might have been entertaining.

"What kind of conversation?" the kid asked.

Yondu motioned at his bed.  "Sit down," he commanded.

The kid glanced over at the wrinkled bedding and his nostrils flared.  Yondu was pretty sure Terrans had a piss-poor sense of smell and he had nothing to be embarrassed about, not that he'd ever be embarrassed, but the kid shook his head.  "Think I'd rather stand."

"Pretty sure I said sit down."  He wasn't going to say it again, so he flipped his coat back, not enough to actually reveal his arrow but enough to remind Quill it existed.

Kid stayed standing, though, and Yondu had to admit he was really growing a set.  "You and Kraglin fuck in that bed.  I don't wanna sit there."

Yondu laughed.  "Then perch, princess, but you're sitting."

Quill looked at the bed, peered at the floor and then seemed to come to a conclusion.  He sank down, sitting cross-legged and looked up at Yondu.  "What do we need to talk about?  I didn't do anything wrong."

"You definitely did.  I dunno what, but I know you did something wrong.  This ain't about that, though.  This is about something else."

"What?" the kid asked suspiciously.

"You been fucking."

Quill's eyes got huge and he glanced around the room.  "Well, yeah.  But not with you.  Like, no offense here, dude, but you're, you know, a little old for me?  I mean, I'm sure you're... I'm not interested?"

Yondu blinked and stared as his brain seemed to reboot itself.  "What?"  He gagged, the mental image of Quill, naked, inserting itself into his mind unbidden.  "No!  No, absolutely not.  You're a little kid, that's disgusting!  I don't know what kinda operation you think I'm running here but--"

"I'm not a little kid!" he protested.  "I'm old enough for fucking!"

"Shut up!" Yondu roared, disgusted.  It was unimaginably disgusting and yet he was imagining it.  It was enough to make him pretty sure Kraglin would be spending more than a week sleeping rough with the other men.  He wasn't sure he was ever going to get an erection again.  "I don't care if you're old enough, you're a kid!  I should put you on permanent hands-off to the crew!"

"That isn't fair!"

"And I couldn't enforce it without getting us both killed, so I won't, but if you ever proposition me again, I swear to fuck I'll make it so you never want to proposition anyone again, boy."  

"You were propositioning me!"

Yondu shook his head.  "I wasn't.  I'd never.  You're the one who... look, this..."  He took a deep breath and pressed his hand between his eyes.  "Fine.  Let's just start this over again and we're never, ever talking about this again as long as either of us lives, clear?  I find out you told anyone about this and there won't be anywhere in the damn universe you can outrun my arrow."

"Trust me, I wasn't planning to say anything.  Can I go now?"  The kid raised a knee as if to start getting up.

"Don't move.  I don't like this conversation anymore than you do, but it needs having, so shut up and you listen."  Yondu pulled a little crystal bauble out of his pocket and examined it rather than looking at Quill.  "So I hear rumours your species is monogamous?"

"What's that?" 

Of course.  He'd been so little when he'd left his home planet, he probably didn't have context.  Great.  For a moment, Yondu considered taking a quick trip past Terra and dropping the kid there for a few months to learn whatever it was kids needed to learn about their own species.  "I don't wanna know who you been fucking, but I wanna know, you think you love him?"

The kid shifted uncomfortably in a rustle of leather that Yondu saw reflected in the facets of his trinket.  "Well... yeah."

"You don't."

"You don't even know who it is!"

"I don't care.  It don't matter."  If he didn't know who it was for sure, he couldn't be assaulted by any further mental images and he wouldn't feel the need to go hunt down Quill's fuck buddy.  Plausible deniability was everything.

"Of course it matters."

Yondu set down his toy and looked the kid in the eyes.  "Love and lust are different."  It had been a hard lesson for Yondu to learn when he'd come of age, one he'd had to be told several times over by different people, most of whom had accompanied it with a bit of a beating.  Centaurians, he was pretty sure, were meant to be monogamous and Yondu had spent most of his adult life reminding himself that monogamy was barbaric.

He crouched, getting on the kid's level in a frustrated attempt to overcome the kid's blank stare.  "You go around getting jealous, they ain't ever gonna forget you're from a backwater primitive species.  So you gotta learn.  Just cause your dick likes someone, that don't mean it's love.  It don't mean you're gonna settle down and be with that person and only that person forever.  It don't mean they even like you.  You're just a convenient place to stick it and that's how it's gotta be."

"It isn't like that!" the kid protested.  "He--"

"Peter!  Shut up and listen, boy!  I don't wanna have to space you for ripping off someone's head!"  He wasn't sure Quill could, yet, but it was better to be pre-emptive.  Sure, Peter's species might not be heavy mate guarders, but Yondu believed in communicating his expectations to his crew clearly.  The arrow usually made it easier but it might divide some focus in this case.  Terrans were terrible at focus.  

"Ripping off someone's head?" Quill echoed.  "What the hell, Yondu?  Why would I do that?"

Case in point.  Pathetic little Terran boy side tracked from an entire conversation by a single rule.  "Dunno what goes through a monogamous brain, but I know that if I lose another engineer to mate guarding, I'm gonna space the whole damn crew and start over."

"Wouldn't that be kinda counterproductive to the whole not losing engineers thing?  And what the hell's mate guarding?"

"Remember when we spaced Sllall?"

"Yeah, it was awesome.  He was such an asshole."

"He was a jealous bastard and I got no time for that shit."

"That doesn't answer my question at all."

"The hell it doesn't.  We had to recruit engineers, remember?  Cause he ripped off their heads after he had sex with the cook!"  Yondu couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with the kid's brain.

"How are those things even connected?  Yondu, this is _insane_!"

Yondu nodded.  "Of course it's insane.  That's why monogamy isn't something civilized folk do.  So you chase all this love shit outta your head.  You can't, then keep your dick to yourself.  In fact, just keep your dick to yourself."

"What the hell is monogamy?  You're not making any sense!"

Yondu's headache was going to exist for months at this rate. The kid was a moron.  "It's when you just have sex with one person.  For life."

"Like penguins?"

"Like what now?  Actually, you know what, sure, like pinglings whatever the hell those are, if it makes you happy.  Don't be like pinglings."

"Penguins," Quill said with exaggerated care.

"Whatever."

Quill sighed and rolled his eyes.  Yondu wondered if he could get brain damage from rolling his eyes too much or if it was some kind of tic, maybe a nutritional deficiency.  He seemed to be doing it more and more often as he grew.  Could be a neurology thing, some kind of seizure.  He'd thought it was a frustration thing in Terrans but the kid was getting older, learning more.  He should have been getting less frustrated, not more.  "I'm not going to go around ripping people's heads off over sex.  Okay?"

"Good.  Then we're clear.  Keep your dick to yourself if you can't help falling in love."

Quill got up and nodded.  "Fine, whatever, Yondu.  Hey, is this a thing for everyone?"

He pushed himself to his feet, tugging at his pants to fix them where they were bunched up from crouching.  "Nah, civilized species got over the monogamy thing already."

"So what about you and Kraglin?"

Yondu froze for just barely a split second and hoped that Quill hadn't caught it.  "Not sure what you're asking, kid, but I'm pretty sure you ain't supposed to be sticking your nose into command decisions."

"Command decisions?  What, you're doing complex calculations when you drag him in here and we hear you two wailing?"

Yondu flipped back his coat.  "Out, now, before I give you your first flying lesson as the figurehead on the nose of my ship!"

Quill made a little squeaking noise and ran.  Yondu watched him go, pleased he wasn't going to have to actually toss the kid off the ship.  He'd keep himself under control.  Arrow scared him enough to make sure of it.

  
  



End file.
